the fix

When I shove this needle into my arm only then can I feel,
my sanity has become one with my numbness,
I need death to feel,
the feelings of the constriction of my veins,
the pain in my heart,
cold.
I feel cold.
how do I feel,
"SHUTUP" I scream, my daughter is but 3
innocent she is
but she can never compare to this fix,
when I look at you all I don't see you,
I see a bridge to my next fix ,
MONEY
the world is green,
black and white,
something cold and dead eats at me
my morals have disintegrated further with every fix,
im not a person
I am a hunger