i am the grass

I am the grass
unable to grow beyond a certain point
restricted to a few centimeters

the soil affected me without realising
and i continued to feel insignificant
incapable of loving my inner and outer skin

passive and helpless
when it came to the world around me

people stood on me
boots made me feel like nothing
lawnmowers cut me down
without my asking

in the past i was bruised
and in the present
i still suffer the consequences

feeling like i am here to be trodden on
to be hurt, to be crumpled and squashed
without my saying so

neglect was the first pain in my life
self neglect happened as a result

i abandoned myself and my lonely inner child
i never knew how to accept that which was '' unloveable ''
so i continued to live in pain

the second trauma was '' abuse ''
attacks upon my skin
feeling helpless like a tiny dot on the floor
small pieces of green strands pushed down by many boots

an empath by nature
empathic and too bruised

loving all the natural parts of this world
the sky
raindrops falling
rainbows alight
birds, butterflies and flowers

cats keep me company when they can
but the boots tear me apart

i am the grass
angry at my place in this cruel world
angry at the hand i have been dealt
hurt beyond words

i feel small
in a world which has decided
to walk all over my tender skin