Slipping

I'm tripping over random thoughts again,
Too caught up trying to be
Perfect and punctual-
Pretending I can do it alone-
Without that extra push.
You make it look so easy-
Accomplishing almost nothing
As you run circles around me
  In your waking hours,
The whole time flaunting
Your sober bravado.
The habitual lust of my past
Shadows my every move,
Taking advantage of
   Every vulnerable moment I have-
Waiting on me to drop
The heavy burden of the future
That I so cautiously balance.  
   On my shoulders-
The future that has so humbly
    Given me one more chance.
So...I have to slip sometimes-
Everyone does-
It's the only way.
I'm sorry if it hurts,
But believe me,
You would never look at me
       Like that again,
          If you only knew the whole story.