deepundergroundpoetry.com
Loss = Gain
He so got me.
Even though he thought he wouldn’t get me.
I had told him I was waiting ‘til I got married. Some sort of religious thing.
That kind of crazy was I at the time, the kind of crazy that didn't happen, over there in his country.
So in love, he thought that shit was cute.
I didn't. It frustrated me, leaving me drenched and bitchy.
One late night return from the discothèque.
Sweat-soaked clothes clinging to our bodies.
My single dormitory bed wouldn’t
hold us side to side that night.
I climbed on top and reached for the nightclub giveaway I had nonchalantly grabbed upon exiting.
I ripped open the foil gift with my teeth.
'What are you doing?' 'T’es sûre?!?' 'What about your future husband?'
We were futureless, from different worlds.
I smiled silently and continued. Unwrapped, and rewrapped over his sèxe like I had been doing this all my life.
Then coyly sat back down on the sweetest man ever to lose anything to.
R.
Even though he thought he wouldn’t get me.
I had told him I was waiting ‘til I got married. Some sort of religious thing.
That kind of crazy was I at the time, the kind of crazy that didn't happen, over there in his country.
So in love, he thought that shit was cute.
I didn't. It frustrated me, leaving me drenched and bitchy.
One late night return from the discothèque.
Sweat-soaked clothes clinging to our bodies.
My single dormitory bed wouldn’t
hold us side to side that night.
I climbed on top and reached for the nightclub giveaway I had nonchalantly grabbed upon exiting.
I ripped open the foil gift with my teeth.
'What are you doing?' 'T’es sûre?!?' 'What about your future husband?'
We were futureless, from different worlds.
I smiled silently and continued. Unwrapped, and rewrapped over his sèxe like I had been doing this all my life.
Then coyly sat back down on the sweetest man ever to lose anything to.
R.
Published 22nd Oct 2018
| Edited 7th Nov 2019
Author's Note
Written for the competition around losing one’s virginity. But mainly written to remember a sweet, sweet moment in an innocent time.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 14
reads 859
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
22nd Oct 2018 5:43am
<< post removed >>
22nd Oct 2018 5:15pm
Thank you for the insights and kind words. It is the type of readiness and relationship I hope for every woman when they decide to go there. As easy as it is from a distance to think about this as just another rite of passage, it is one where the more vulnerable you can be, the more empowered you become.
Anonymous
22nd Oct 2018 8:16am
Todski articulates it better than me. There is a tenderness to this poem, which is soft as silk. Rob
22nd Oct 2018 5:16pm
Soft as silk is a sweet way to think about it. Thank you, my friend. R.
22nd Oct 2018 3:14pm
It's always nice reading about a woman who chose to gift her virginity, Rachelle. ❤
23rd Oct 2018 2:23pm
Anonymous
- Edited 30th May 2019 3:51pm
22nd Oct 2018 9:23pm
<< post removed >>
23rd Oct 2018 2:25pm
Every aspect of this poem is sublime, Rachelle. It highlights your writer’s narrative & descriptive skills to full advantage. You’ve left nothing undone.
Thank you for sharing with us.
~Jade
Thank you for sharing with us.
~Jade
23rd Oct 2018 2:26pm
Ahh, Jade, thank you for the kind words and RL add! So glad it resonated with you! R.
26th Oct 2018 2:31am
Very nice write. A decision made without pressure and richly detailed. Good luck in the comp.
26th Oct 2018 5:24am
Thank you much for the kind words-the topic lent itself well, in my case :).
20th Jan 2019 1:29am
You sure have skills in describing emotions, conflicts, life and decisions.
It also makes the reader think about decisions in their life made due to influences or considerations (future, family, economic, etc) versus passion.
It also makes the reader think about decisions in their life made due to influences or considerations (future, family, economic, etc) versus passion.
20th Jan 2019 7:04am
Thank you, Leo, for the comment and the thoughtful reflection—I would have had a very different path in life had I figured that out about decision making a bit earlier...
