I lie because I care

Distant not by my choice but mental corruption
Smiling and laughing involuntarily participating in self destruction
I miss all your smiles and laughs those good times
Covered in more emotional and physical scars lying "im fine"
Dont worry about me this life is better and its great
Sadly I lie to all who care, I just dont want you to see me this way.
I'm afraid if I open up my feelings to any of you
The dark and tormented will grab hold and stick like glue
I'm sorry I lie but its only because i love and care for you all
Even I dont know you, id never wish you on this side of The wall
I know there are ones out there that relate and understand
Even than feeling I should keep distant though wishing to hold hands
I dont know how much longer I really have to live
The best I can do is thank you for taking the time to read this