wishing for intent

i kneel in the corner
in a pitch black room
nude on a towel
headphones blasting white noise
blank
you want me blank
erased and focused
as I slide with a tight grip
my blue plums screaming for an end
till I must stop
or break my vow
 
again and again
time swirling
need coagulating
alone with thoughts pulverized  
bleached into a sea of sound
 
i am panting like a rhinoceros in heat
my great horn raging  
all seems so profound
and pathetic simultaneously
 
the hours dissolve
and i’ve become an ameba
swelling and contracting in a plateau of the almost orgasmic  
the place where one will say anything into a gag
or the soul of a stiletto
shoved deep in a mouth
 
but pulling that hand away
is a gargantuan act
leaving bliss before its zenith  
so that tomorrow the hue grows deeper
and bloodshot watery eyes  
wish to have their way with you
drinking your silloutte
and wishing for your intent