deepundergroundpoetry.com
THE LADY WAITS
Why to this bench, on this date do you come?
Ever in lilac satin gown arrayed.
What mysterious book do you read from?
Why is the umbrella thusly displayed?
Each year I return come clear skies or rain
to this spot where we, devout soulmates, wed.
The stars did witness, our kiss did sustain
exchanged vows whilst Moon officiated.
In my journal I read proofs of our tryst
Loves seed planted, nurtured, grown in just hours
Umbrella closed tight though deluge persist
For ink bleeds more from tears than from showers.
Far off, disguised, on forlorn love spying.
Two hearts entwined, in harmony crying.
Ever in lilac satin gown arrayed.
What mysterious book do you read from?
Why is the umbrella thusly displayed?
Each year I return come clear skies or rain
to this spot where we, devout soulmates, wed.
The stars did witness, our kiss did sustain
exchanged vows whilst Moon officiated.
In my journal I read proofs of our tryst
Loves seed planted, nurtured, grown in just hours
Umbrella closed tight though deluge persist
For ink bleeds more from tears than from showers.
Far off, disguised, on forlorn love spying.
Two hearts entwined, in harmony crying.
Published 12th Sep 2018
| Edited 13th Sep 2018
Author's Note
Inspired by the "A Picture Holds A Thousand Words #1 " competition and consequently the accompanying image.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 16
reads 656
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Sep 2018 11:43pm
Great poem, amigo! I love the imagery you've created and the overall theme.
Nice work, and thanks for participating in my competition!
Nice work, and thanks for participating in my competition!
12th Sep 2018 11:48pm
13th Sep 2018 00:51am
Melancholy and lovely writing, Gahdess. "In harmony crying" breaks my heart. Yes, this is inspired work.
13th Sep 2018 1:15am
Thank you Sir Crow! I'll admit getting choked up when that line came to me. I really enjoyed this process because the story scenarios are endless.
Anonymous
13th Sep 2018 00:53am
Beautifully down my dear friend. Excellent wording and intriguing tale. Bravo. J
13th Sep 2018 1:17am
13th Sep 2018 3:13am
Beautiful. I love the line "ink bleeds more from tears than from showers". And a bunch of others too, but that one's my favorite.
(My eye pounces on typos though - would you like me to point them out? Somehow I always feel guilty when I see something so irrelevant in a beautiful piece of work.... and in poetry you never know if someone's doing it on purpose)
Very much enjoyed this. :)
(My eye pounces on typos though - would you like me to point them out? Somehow I always feel guilty when I see something so irrelevant in a beautiful piece of work.... and in poetry you never know if someone's doing it on purpose)
Very much enjoyed this. :)
13th Sep 2018 6:43am
13th Sep 2018 2:19pm
3rd stanza, first line - I think that's probably supposed to be "of", not "or".
3rd stanza, last line - than instead of then. Unless you meant "then", referring to time.... but I feel like that's a bit of a stretch.
(See, it's hard because sometimes people intentionally substitute words for effect....)
3rd stanza, last line - than instead of then. Unless you meant "then", referring to time.... but I feel like that's a bit of a stretch.
(See, it's hard because sometimes people intentionally substitute words for effect....)
13th Sep 2018 5:09pm
Thank you Titanium. Well spotted. I can't believe I missed the "or" the many times I reviewed the piece. I think, as author, I revert to what I thought I wrote. I am forever having to look up then/than rules so I needed the coaching 😁
Anonymous
13th Sep 2018 10:07am
The sonnet format seems to work really well with this type of imagery. I love how it blends so seamlessly into the picture. I may question just a couple of the full stops used in this just because it hinders the flow ever so slightly in places. Otherwise I think it’s a beautiful rendition.
Best of luck in the comp. Thanks for sharing.
-M
Best of luck in the comp. Thanks for sharing.
-M
13th Sep 2018 1:35pm
Merci beaucoup, Missy! I am glad you enjoy the poem. I do agree that there are wonky rythmns, especially in light of the traditional sonnet structure. I too thought, when I first the picture, this deserves a romantic form.
Anonymous
- Edited 6th Feb 2019 11:45am
16th Sep 2018 12:25pm
<< post removed >>
16th Sep 2018 9:04pm
13th Nov 2018 2:33pm
you brought tears to my eyes and I'll leave
it like that.
sweetly contented
it like that.
sweetly contented
13th Nov 2018 3:02pm
Thank you so much Howling! I am glad that you were so touched. I too shed some tears while writing the piece. Love is a beautiful and, at times, devastating thing.
