Stepping Stones

I have been in a couple relationships that I shouldn't have been in
I'm reminiscing about the damage that I know I've inflicted
It's stinging, because I wish I could've done it different
Fling after fling and those times my heart wasn't in it
When I was just in it for the ride, for feeling euphoric
I'd carry them by a short string, then snip it when it got boring
Without any warning, that was in 2014
The torture that I put 'em through, all of that scorching

I remember Milo was just an intermediate
‘Cause the one I really wanted wasn't immediate, my greediness
Clouded my thinking and I could see an ex
That I left and for that, I would feel regret
Then reconnect and leave again and then re-regret
But now that I'm looking back I hate myself for that
More than she hated me for it; I can't forget the past
And I can't reset the past, but the best I could do is confess my acts
Apologize and leave it dead in the past

Apologies to another, the most kindest of nurses
When we were dating, howcome I didn't write her a verse?
We broke up, but then instead of fighting for her
I moved on quick to the same one I really wanted, thought my life was with her
And not the first, that wasn't fair, I'm a scumbag
For hopping from lily to lily; I know that I've done bad
Sorry to Ben too for what we got into
You were a rebound, and we just couldn't continue

I used you as a learning curve when I was gauging where I was
While you thought we're perfect together like a pair of doves
You thought I was your new home, but you were just a stepping stone
Like the other ones I did and didn't mention so
To all the girls I've abused and left alone
Taken advantage of and then disposed
I know you all forgave me, but I just want to let you know
I'm sorry I made you feel like stepping stones

I'ma wash away my sins
I'ma rinse away this dirt
I forgot to make amends
To all the girls I may have hurt
I better stop and say my grace
From that I pray that I don't fall
'Cause on the way back down I may
End up running back into them all
I never meant to use you all as my stepping stones