deepundergroundpoetry.com
In the Belly of Lonely
I belong to no one, to nothing
Not even to myself
To neither the sky, nor this body
My feet feel like trespassers on the ground, my hands are somehow a new stranger
I feel lonely in every crowd of bodies and voices
Which is to say, I feel lonely in my own
In this chandelier of moist bones and tendons
And I wonder- when the elasticity of myself wears will I fall apart easily
Will it be as beautiful as teeth puncturing into the flesh of ripe fruit
But my organs feel rotten
Still reluctantly beating, breathing
So I picture those same faces biting into me
And I wonder,
if I will change the way they reach
Change the way they devour
Not even to myself
To neither the sky, nor this body
My feet feel like trespassers on the ground, my hands are somehow a new stranger
I feel lonely in every crowd of bodies and voices
Which is to say, I feel lonely in my own
In this chandelier of moist bones and tendons
And I wonder- when the elasticity of myself wears will I fall apart easily
Will it be as beautiful as teeth puncturing into the flesh of ripe fruit
But my organs feel rotten
Still reluctantly beating, breathing
So I picture those same faces biting into me
And I wonder,
if I will change the way they reach
Change the way they devour
Published 5th Sep 2018
| Edited 8th Jan 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 7
reads 652
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Sep 2018 10:39pm
Some great lines in this piece. "Feet like trespassers". "Chandelier of moist bones and tendons". Really enjoyed the dark elements in this write. I can feel that loneliness.
5th Sep 2018 10:46pm
19th Sep 2018 9:07pm
"In this chandelier of moist bones and tendons" ... awesome line ... wonderful edgy poem ... makes me pause ... reflect ... the essence of good poetry ...
19th Dec 2018 10:47pm
Wow thank you for your feedback! I always enjoy hearing that a poem or writing makes a person pause and reflect
20th Mar 2019 7:23am
Favourite lines
“So I picture those same faces biting into me
And I wonder if I will change the way they eat
Change the way they devour “
“So I picture those same faces biting into me
And I wonder if I will change the way they eat
Change the way they devour “
7th Jan 2022 8:51pm
I remember a time when I felt this lonely. It gnaws on every last bit of bone and sinew. Very deep and relatable piece. The "chandelier of moist bones and tendons" is an exquisite visual.
I don't think I would change anything you have written here, but I think if you pulled your lines into stanzas or even just pull all of your lines together into one, it might flow a little better for the reader. Otherwise, beautiful work.
I don't think I would change anything you have written here, but I think if you pulled your lines into stanzas or even just pull all of your lines together into one, it might flow a little better for the reader. Otherwise, beautiful work.
8th Jan 2022 1:46am
Wow, thank you for your honest words. Looking back and I can see exactly what you mean. It does look and read in somewhat of an unstructured way. Thank you, I appreciate it.
