deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Last Leaf
Shake me
from this dream
help me
rediscover birth
I have weathered
the maw of heaving gale
clutched your skirts
through sap starved winter
poor muse of nature's whim
held only by
absurd defiant glue
lost monument to limbo
until your waking root
decrees my withered wraith
the first to fall come Spring
from this dream
help me
rediscover birth
I have weathered
the maw of heaving gale
clutched your skirts
through sap starved winter
poor muse of nature's whim
held only by
absurd defiant glue
lost monument to limbo
until your waking root
decrees my withered wraith
the first to fall come Spring
Published 29th Oct 2011
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reading list entries 0
comments 2
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Anonymous
31st Oct 2011 4:01pm
A beautiful poem of pain and despair, so lusciously told one doesn't realise at first how dark it is. To me it's about yearning for death. The "waking root" is my favourite image, and that theme of rebirth in nature, the yearly cycle beginning again, calls to mind the first lines of T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land. My one suggestion is that you remove "absurd" in L11. It feels like one word too many. JMHO of course.
Thanks for the read, Abra.
Thanks for the read, Abra.
31st Oct 2011 5:34pm
It's L10 which troubles me about this write - but like everything I've ever produced it'll never be finished - as long as I remain a tweak freak.
Thanks for the feedback, Jack.
Thanks for the feedback, Jack.
