My Friend, Shakey

Shakey values many antiques;
And probably has to take many beer leaks.
He seems to like the color brown;
He doesn't often go into town.
He has many different-colored bottles made of glass;
And sometimes, he isn't afraid to tell people to kiss his ass.
He was deeply in love with his wife;
And enjoys a small-town life.
He is suing for mesothelioma;
He seems to see pretty well; no glaucoma.
I assure you that I'm not making fun;
You know I am mostly a serious one.
Not to forget, "Shakey and Snappy, what a pair;
                One has a little, one has no hair!"
He likes to watch a lot of TV;
Sometimes he wears glasses to see.
He sends and receives lots of mail;
His best pal next door chases a lot of tail.
He has had so many-a-friend;
He always has an ear to lend.
He needs to know as a father; he didn't fail;
Because his son ended up in jail.
I can't wait for Shakey to meet my Dad;
For he's one of the best friends I've ever had.
He served his country well years ago;
Once I gave him a needle so he could sew.
I hope that Shakey lives forever;
He's very kind and fun and very clever.
It makes me happy to spend time with him;
And to share a rhyme with him.
He cares a lot for Dutch's cat;
He likes girls that are skinny; not fat.
He has many leaves on his wall;
His friend Roger makes many-a-phone call.
He feels badly for the Native Americans that once ruled this land;
He probably has many foods that are canned.
He knows a hangover feels quite rotten;
And that many things can be forgotten.
He likes to wear comfortable slippers;
And probably likes to see skinny dippers.
Like my Dad, I wish, with me, he could hike;
I wish he couldn't remember I was temporarily a dyke.
It's fun to make Shakey laugh;
In my wedding book; I'm glad I have his autograph.