the  lie

every day i wake up confused
pained because i am living a lie
a lie i never asked to tell

i open my eyes in the morning
close them at night
only to live the lie when i wake up

living a lie, living a lie all of the time
how cruel to make someone live the wrong life
the life with holes and imperfections
and abnormalities one struggles to comprehend
despite knowing why

refusing to feel real
me and my mind , all too much
confusion confusingly spinning
like a roundabout with no ability to stop
and i'm always on the moving roundabout
never to step onto the pavement

oh, how do i escape
 the confusion caused by so much trauma in my life ?
how do i stop spinning
when my life is a constant relentless lie

my past causes aches within myself
painful pains
and every time i look back
i see nothing but a lie

i guess i will go to bed tonight
waking up tomorrow
wandering why the roundabout can't stop spinning

so much has pushed me around and around
outside events having the upper hand , not me
trauma having the upper hand

my life is just a stupid spinning wheel
a weird roundabout of weirdness and lies