Hard Man

    
my dad visited me tonight
he was a writer like me
cept he never let anyone see his stuff
I didn't even find out he wrote until he died
and all his writings were burned
my mom knew how personal he was
if he had wanted us to know he wrote
he would have told us
 
he was straight up that way
you always knew what was on his mind
he was a country kind of man
and a crop dusting pilot by trade
back in the day  
when you took your life in your hands
ducking and diving wires
 
it was an honest living
and he was an honest man
he would come home covered in chemicals
smelling of sulfur  
but he never complained
complaining was for pansies he'd say
buckle down and man through
was his way of doing things
 
I loved my dad
but I didn't understand him
we didn't understand each other
he was a realist
I lived in a fantasy
he would call my dreams artsy fartsy
I thought he was crass for talking like that
 
he got cancerous ulcers  
inside his stomach in the end
likely from all those chemicals
 
I miss my dad
I always felt safe knowing he was in the house
never feared for our safety
it was the foolish burglars I feared for
if any dare step in our house
 
he road Harley's  
hunted wildlife
chased women
and taught me about life
 
he was a hard man
who would take no bull
especially from me
he always knew I was smart
my smarts made him proud
it's time to prove him right
for believing in me
 
I feel safe
my dad's in the house tonight