meth the cure

      
there is no ugly way to say I love you
no pretty way to say you don't      
the cut will be true      
no matter how you dolly it up      
       
the truth most times isn't nice      
to another's ears      
or even our own      
       
the truth is I'm an addict      
I've tried to change it      
made some headway      
and fell back into it      
       
I'm a schizo not a nice word      
but a factual one      
I've suffered more than most      
at the hands of my delusions      
Hitler's drug Meth seems to calm it
not cure it
but help me cope        
       
some would argue with my reasoning      
tell me do you have a schizo brain?      
       
if not please refrain with the pleasantries        
about how grand life clean can be      
I did life clean      
it was hell for me      
       
screaming at the skies      
in 113 heat      
cursing at an invisible god      
for dropping the sun on me      
for making me wear it as a halo      
to add insult to injury      
       
for me being sober      
is like not breathing      
you tell me to be sober      
you're asking me not to breathe      
       
I'm on psych meds      
none of them have worked half as good      
as meth does      
       
a fact few know        
Meth in the early days      
was used to treat psychiatric illnesses      
and because some people abused it  
it was outlawed for this usage      
       
I don't abuse it      
I do a line every few days as needed  
it works      
       
so until my mind changes      
or some miracle cure comes round
it's not likely I will be quitting