I Feel Like All I Can Do Is Scream

waking up in the morning
i lay there and think  
what do i need to do today  
i gotta get out of bed  
drag myself to the sink  
look into my eyes  
even though i can’t stand to blink  
 
 
I can kill zombies  
(what time is it?)  
The Undead needs to DIE  
Shit I have to get up!  
(oh God i smell)  
But can I handle a shower right now?  
Can I find clean clothes?  
Ok pajamas it is  
Here comes the zombie massacre  
I have things to do but I simply just can't  
**  
 
I need to avoid those people  
The people that bring guns to schools  
The people that send bombs to houses  
The people that steal babies  
The people that abuse and assault others for fun  
Can you really call them people?  
 
And then there are those who are just trying to cope  
With what’s going on in life  
but don't know how  
And end up picking on others  
The ones that are a little too poor,  
Or fat,  
or ugly.  
They’re also just trying their hardest  
To get through the day  
But don’t understand  
“Why does he mess with me?”  
 
**  
 
I need to think how lucky I got  
I can afford basic healthcare  
And new shoes  
And an education  
And to spend time with those I love  
I can afford to buy my nieces and nephews gifts~to show them they’re loved~  
 
But what do you value in life if you didn’t get lucky?  
The job that’s below you (but above a decent education)  
Or your health  
(which isn’t so healthy)  
Do you buy your children things you can’t afford…  
To make up for the time you can’t spend with them?  
 
**  
 
I pull on a T-shirt  
It’s no longer too tight  
And i grab the child-size pants  
That somehow fit just right  
When I forgot to eat  
All last year out of spite  
I looked in the mirror  
And saw the painful sight  
Of watching my restricting  
Drain my inner-light  
 
But is it really a disease if its my coping method?  
And it’s the only thing that gets me through the day  
And is it really an illness if only the rich kids catch it?  
 
**  
 
 
I try to get dressed  
But I sit there and cry  
I try to live life  
But I sit there and die  
 
There's a tornado in my head  
Where I should feel joy  
but instead I feel  
I'm being suffocated    
How can I live life  
With all that's going on  
(I wish getting out of bed was as easy as killing a zombie)  
Because I try to get out of bed in the morning  
But I can't claw my way out  
How does one do anymore than just kill zombies  
When I feel numb  
When I can't taste food or see beauty in the world  
Does this mean I’m the real zombie?  
 
 
 
waking up in the morning  
i lay there and think  
what do i need to do today  
i won’t get out of bed  
i can’t drag myself to the sink  
heaven forbid i look in the mirror  
because then all i see  
is the death of me