Monet of pain

 
I'm depressed  
no dressing it up
will alter the truth
 
I am awash in sadness
I paint my tears blue
to make my pain more beautiful
and reason if it's art it can be born
a Monet of feeling  
little dots of emotion creating a picture
 
all my feelings personified  
each with their own thoughts
argue inside me
they wrestle with my ego
who refuses to attend their intervention
 
they see a soul in peril
I see an artist who dips her brush in sorrow
creating loveliness
 
they say  
 
"your emotions are flat
there is no form within the grey of truth
you have given birth  
to a bastard called guilt
then left him at our door  
just another orphan
crying to the world
please see me, hear me, I exist"
 
I shut my door  
and pretend I don't know them
they are taking me to the highest court  
for feelings left unclaimed and unrecognized  
 
court is in session