Paradox

What I thought I was, was I really that?
What I think I am, am I really that?
Fear of everything is a very heavy burden,
How would it feel to lose this fear?
How would it feel to be positive?
Wanting to embrace death yet to fear it these whims of mine is out of my grasp.

I want love when I'm already loved,
I want freedom when I'm already free,
Why do I feel empty and cold?
All the words are dying,
What is it that my soul is asking for?

As I get ready to self destruct, it really seems beautiful and all I could think is of the dreamless sleep.
But maybe not today and maybe someday.

I might find my niche,
And one day I might know what it truly feels like to feel those feelings unfelt.
Nothing seems right, and I really don't know why
In nothing I saw all the answers .