Nightmares

damn it dearest LK
you fucked my mind with the truth of this poem
and it hurt badly..

eye opening power here..

love Crim

It’s a sad truth. Couldn’t imagine feeling so powerless.

Thanks so much for reading, friend.

These are thoughts that frequently travel the paths of my own mind. The disparity between those who have and those who have not is so vast that it astounds me. It would take so little to reach out and help those around them but they choose not to. I can only hope that one day karma will have its say and they will finally understand. Strong write, my friend

...Willow

It’s a very disturbing world. You think saving a life would be rewarding. Too bad the rich don’t feel that way.
If life is a test then those that have and do nothing will end up in a special place when they are gone. The thing that gets me is when those same people talk about the Bible like they live any of those teachings.

Thanks for reading, friend.

this is such a great pencil, you have personal polish, with-in your pencil, that one mush give you some leg up.
this is written with so much passion, your a loaded spring of words, let me critique your poem, interns of helping you,
first my suggestion, this is a suggestion not from a male force,  read((((((( Kate tempest)))))))


fuck right it’s a crisis!
the wasted life gains nothing------comma    
poor looks(  ) better than a living death( )---is-----after death full stop.  
(  )terrible horrific accident----life's---- accident,  
kids knowing hurt from birth----comma  
having to see their world (demolished)-----raw, this is what i would have said, because it open up  a wound    
everyday a mother, everyday a sister-----comma after sister  
having to morn while trying to keep themselves alive-----there is no lead into this line---you have jumped  
how can prayers be so denied? -----believe in yourself not god, but that is my option!  
tragic how the privilege ignore this----ignore what?---- your faith----or children?  
they rather forget and let die!------i would say -- but that's up to you----- of  industrial corruptions---  
 
I dream of houses, I dream of fantasies  
I live in nightmares, but comatose is my escape----my comatose state---full stop after escape.
disease everywhere, eating my life too short-------pandemics eating into my life---think out side the box    
can’t be remembered when everyone I know is gone!-----wow,wow,wow  
is gone!, is gone!  
from hell to heaven----comma after heaven  
 
drinking water looks like mud----polluted water----it gets the reader thinking(((((( industrial waste)))))))    
food is whatever we can scrounge up---- comma  
love has no meaning  
not when you’re treated worse than animals-----wow,wow,wow  
how can the rich be so mighty?-----but they are  
only ever feeding their own greed  
meaningless martial and vanity-----with this line think out side the box---you can do better than this line  
what I wouldn’t give to be so clueless-----wow,wow,wow  
and just forget this world of pain!----  
 
I dream of houses, I dream of fantasies  
I live in nightmares, but comatose is my escape  
disease everywhere, eating my life too short  
can’t be remembered when everyone I know is gone!  
is gone!, is gone!  
from hell to heaven--------the Greek chorus----what  intellect  
 
I say goodnight---comma  
it’s too cold to survive---!  
a wasted life that never stood a chance--comma  
tormented soul who only wished to be loved  
my dreams are now a joke  
to those that have everything, it’s all just a joke!---- don't give up----

your purpose in life is to write ,write, write!

and thank you

Well thank you 😁 I kind of have a different way of writing. Mostly because it comes down to looks. I just don’t like too many commas. As for the wording, that comes down to flow for me. Though I do thank you for your suggestions 👍

that is me, because you have such a wonderful way with word, that i like to savour each line,