Green Eggs and Ham

 I am Jess, Jess I am
I am Jess, Jess I am.
I do not like relationships
I do not like them,
For I am Jess, Jess I am.
I dislike a lot of things,
I am Jess, Jess I am
I dislike the droplets of rain that cover your glasses lens when you forget an umbrella.
I dislike how on a really cold day, they fog up whenever I enter a warm room.
I dislike like glasses in general.
I dislike it when people walk into my room and forget to close the door behind them.
I dislike milk that someone forgot to put back in the fridge.
I dislike it when people forget to flush the white bowl.
I dislike the red rotten flesh of a fresh cherry tomato
I dislike jumping into a pool and feeling it's cold embrace.
I dislike holding my breath under water.
I dislike cheesy romance movies where the woman says "take me I'm yours" as she jumps into his arms.
I dislike the fact that they killed Jack in the Titanic, Rose should have died too; killing them both would have at least been a little less tragic.
I dislike the cold dark silence a broken heart can bring.
I dislike seeing the pieces crumble everywhere.
And those sloppy wet slippery kisses that stain it after.
I dislike the fact that sometimes it's not the boys that break your heart.
I dislike the fact that I am either the soup before the meal, or the mint after.
But most of all-
I dislike it when people ask fake how are you’s and fake how do you do’s?
You may call me negative-
You may say I am a stick in the mud
But my prom date was my great grand- mama, who’s also my best bud.

And despite all these things that I dis-dis -like.
One things for sure, I know I like like you.
Like those girls that say take me I'm yours.
Like the unspoken silence that can come from the closest of lovers.
I would still like you even while wearing glasses.
I would still like you while eating cherry tomatoes.
I would still like you even while watching a cheesy romance movie.
I would still like you in the rain.
I would still like you even in pain.
I would still like you in a fog.
I would still like you even in a bog.
But I like like you because you don't give me fake how are you’s or fake how do you do’s.
I like like you because you're always there to catch me when I fall.
I like like you because I can lean on you, and you can lean on me.

It’s too bad though, that you’re just my pet dog.
Doesn’t hurt to say I dream of-
Maybe one day.
For I am Jess, Jess I am.
And this is my plate of green eggs and ham.