deepundergroundpoetry.com
Polaroid Love
a picturesque setting
from a polaroid
you sit next to me
on the sofa, engrossed
in a soccer match
you swear at the guy lying on the ground
i watch the bright lights reflect off your skin
sounds muffled
by the whirlpool of my thoughts
i'm at the pinnacle
of my life
your finite affections
your flawed persona
your messy dispositions
this amorous life,
as incessant as a polaroid
you squeeze my leg
Ay love.......
i will cherish you
till the gloss is gone.
Published 15th Oct 2011
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likes 5
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comments 6
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Oct 2011 2:41pm
You seem to write this during a thoughtful moments, during a pause. Very languid prose. In my opinion that is.
16th Oct 2011 00:33am
i guess i was in a'contemplatory' mood and wished to convey that in this piece. thanx for sharing your thoughts :)
15th Oct 2011 4:03pm
describe things rather than say it. It makes your work that much deeper and more meaningful. It is almost as if I can see everything through your eyes.
16th Oct 2011 00:42am
i'm just dabbling in different styles of poems, to get a feel of what i'm comfortable with.
glad you liked it, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one :)
glad you liked it, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one :)
must be my lucky poem day. I like the perspective and comparisons; you brought a mood for me, especially with the lighting. I assume the last three lines were spoken by him. If they are, I suggest quotation marks for the penultimate two lines, and if not, ignore the suggestion. Great work.
18th Oct 2011 2:58am
thank you jolais for stopping by and the lovely comment :)
*the last lines are still in a first person perspective, thanks for the suggestion though
*the last lines are still in a first person perspective, thanks for the suggestion though
