ALAS NIGHTS SWEET  KIND WIND HAS FOUND ME   (II)  (6/1997, Galveston Island, Texas)

         
        
after so many          
long          
nightmarish years          
of such terribly          
hopeless          
illness          
and loss          
stolen health          
isolating aloneness          
relentless          
suffering and fear          
there came          
and was          
a deep need          
in my          
soul          
to fill this          
dark hole          
ive now become          
which has          
consumed my life          
my joy          
and all that          
i once          
loved before          
where once          
there was such          
wondrous          
light          
from my          
all being love          
for the sea          
and the sun          
for this          
sacred earth          
for all life          
and nature          
i yielded to          
as one          
yet now here          
again          
i have somehow          
come          
to the softer          
end          
of yet another          
countless day done          
where in silence          
i step          
outside          
to reflect          
and pray          
in my heart          
and mind          
for the          
hopeful return          
someday        
of that        
wondrous          
light          
of my          
all being love          
for the sea          
for the sun          
for this          
sacred earth          
for all life          
and nature          
i still know          
as one          
for my life          
for my joy          
and all          
that i        
once loved        
before          
to return      
please return        
return          
and refill          
this dark hole        
it seems        
and feels          
ive now become          
but until then          
to these        
hopes          
to these        
desires          
to my          
sadly longing        
intentions          
i simply          
surrender          
to peacefully          
and humbly        
succumb        
and listen          
alone now        
with this moon        
high up          
above me          
i take          
solace          
from its silent        
witness          
where alas        
nights sweet          
soothing wind          
has finally        
come          
to kindly find          
and gently          
embrace me          
to kiss me        
with her        
tender touch        
her flowing breath        
here in the        
luminous grace        
and healing light          
of this        
equally lonesome        
cold  distant        
moon above        
leaving me          
here        
like a lost        
nameless shadow        
so far down        
below her        
passively hovering        
timeless ghost        
only          
to ponder        
here further          
ever more deeply          
the true mystery          
and wonder          
as to          
just why          
and for what          
higher          
purpose or reason          
i  against          
all odds          
am still yet          
here        
and alive          
if    
that is    
this being    
i now am    
can even be        
considered        
any true        
semblance        
or form        
of actual life    
or so called        
living    
at all    
anymore  
but in light of  
and aside from  
all that  
irregardless  
still nonetheless  
i m still profoundly  
and eternally  
grateful  
for all  
the little blessings  
i still have  
in my life  
but none greater  
than the simple  
fact  
that i  
am still  
yet  
here  
and alive  
even to this  
significantly  
diminished  
degree  
i presently  
still yet  
am  
in which  
i can  
at least find  
and take  
some relative  
sweet  rare comfort
and at least
temporary solace
from my simply
not quite yet  
being counted amongst  
all the still  
missing in action  
nor amongst all  
the many other  
similarly ill fated  
lost souls  
like me  
in this world  
whom i ve read  
and heard  
in general published  
statistical data resources  
are somewhere now  
around or over  
thirty five million  
who have already  
now  
for so long  
been
officially reported  
as now being  
completely long dead  
physically deceased  
and forever  
gone  
from this  
most wondrous  
of physical worlds  
which ironically itself  
is simultaneously  
but only much
more slowly  
still suffering immensely
from  
the rapidly increasing  
systemic symptoms  
of it s very
own  
ever worsening  
planetary  
immuno suppression  
deficiency syndrome s  
continued  
global  pandemic s  
no longer sustainable  
mass human failure s  
inevitable collapse  
from it s truly  
much more tragic  
ongoing  losing  
vain  futile battle  
with and in  
it s even greater  
spiritually unawakened  
ass backwards struggles
in it s much  
greater  
losing war  
against and with  
it s now seemingly  
impossible  
increasingly metastisized  
ongoing  existential  
overwhelming cancer  
of all humanity  
of mankind itself
as the truly
greatest
living  deadly cancer
to ever systemically
infect and befall
our sacred  living
conscious
mother
earth