I don't

I don't want to be a bother or burden to anyone. I don't want to hate myself anymore, I want to know what is wrong with me that it's so difficult to see the best aspects of me, to see what others claim they looking to see. I want to not keep misrepresenting myself because im trying so hard to protect myself from me while striving to be a better version of what I believe I should and could be. I don't want what the Joneses have I just want what's best for my  family. Not seeing myself beneath my minds eyed mentalities...