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IRRELEVANT INTERVIEW
April 18
#18
IRRELEVANT INTERVIEW
* "So what drew you to seek employment at our particular establishment?"
---- "I need a job."
* "I see, And do you have any experience in the job you are applying for?"
---- "I will if you hire me."
* "What do you feel that you can bring to our company?"
---- "Work."
* "I see, so, what makes you feel that you are qualified for this position?"
---- "Well, my third grade teacher, miss Bean, told me that I could do anything that I set my mind upon, and I believe her words to be true. And just three days ago this stray dog , A terrier, I'm not sure of the breed, one of those kind of long grey hair types, well, he told me that I was the son of God."
* "Interesting. That definitely makes a difference."
---- "Yeah, He's been hanging around, I call him Charlie. He's on my reference list there."
* "Oh, yes, I see his name there. So what would you say is your greatest weakness?"
---- "Well, I wouldn't call any weakness great, but I'm fucking broke, I don't have a job, and I live in the fucking woods. You can call it a sort of unholy trinity of weakness, if you will"
* "I see"
---- "Do you, now?"
* "Indeed."
---- "Then sign it over, bitch."
* "So how can we get in contact with you?"
---- "I'm just over there in the park across the street, in the wooded area by the creek, just past the soccer field. My place is the one with the blue tarp."
* " Excellent. So getting to work on time won't be a problem?"
---- "Oh, hell, no. These kids have early practice every morning and I always wake up to a couple or a few of them poking me with a stick to see if there's a dead body or what not."
* "You are definitely on the top of the list of candidates. We will be sure to contact you first, should the position of CEO become available."
---- "That's all I ask. And I'll be giving you a good word to the alien overlords heading our way, so, you know, maybe get some first class tickets on the meat wagon."
---- WINK
*WINK
---- * HANDSHAKE
*Salute
EXIT
#18
IRRELEVANT INTERVIEW
* "So what drew you to seek employment at our particular establishment?"
---- "I need a job."
* "I see, And do you have any experience in the job you are applying for?"
---- "I will if you hire me."
* "What do you feel that you can bring to our company?"
---- "Work."
* "I see, so, what makes you feel that you are qualified for this position?"
---- "Well, my third grade teacher, miss Bean, told me that I could do anything that I set my mind upon, and I believe her words to be true. And just three days ago this stray dog , A terrier, I'm not sure of the breed, one of those kind of long grey hair types, well, he told me that I was the son of God."
* "Interesting. That definitely makes a difference."
---- "Yeah, He's been hanging around, I call him Charlie. He's on my reference list there."
* "Oh, yes, I see his name there. So what would you say is your greatest weakness?"
---- "Well, I wouldn't call any weakness great, but I'm fucking broke, I don't have a job, and I live in the fucking woods. You can call it a sort of unholy trinity of weakness, if you will"
* "I see"
---- "Do you, now?"
* "Indeed."
---- "Then sign it over, bitch."
* "So how can we get in contact with you?"
---- "I'm just over there in the park across the street, in the wooded area by the creek, just past the soccer field. My place is the one with the blue tarp."
* " Excellent. So getting to work on time won't be a problem?"
---- "Oh, hell, no. These kids have early practice every morning and I always wake up to a couple or a few of them poking me with a stick to see if there's a dead body or what not."
* "You are definitely on the top of the list of candidates. We will be sure to contact you first, should the position of CEO become available."
---- "That's all I ask. And I'll be giving you a good word to the alien overlords heading our way, so, you know, maybe get some first class tickets on the meat wagon."
---- WINK
*WINK
---- * HANDSHAKE
*Salute
EXIT
Published 18th Apr 2018
Author's Note
Job interview dialogue
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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19th Apr 2018 5:58am
19th Apr 2018 3:22pm
20th Apr 2018 6:07am
20th Apr 2018 6:26am
Not every writer writes out their stories as an autobiography. Not every actor in every movie or sitcom are actually married. Those cute little kids you see in movies and on T.V.? They aren't always the spoiled rich offspring of the rich and famous man or woman who slapped their untalented ass out there with a windfall of money and opportunity to give them a head start that they otherwise wouldn't ever have. Sometimes people are simply artists. And then, there is always the pathetic self entitled clueless rich
3rd May 2018 2:36am
