Trapped

I’m lost, I’m lonely,  I’m walking the streets , feeling of empty it haunts me for keeps , the absence of love, lacking runs deep, the tear drops and caskets , it makes my heart weep. I’m angry with god cause I feel he don’t care , I’m searching the sky’s but nobody’s there , just quiet and darkness , eerie at night , I hug on my pillow, I cry holding tight , craving the power and love of the light , I hope and I pray that my parents don’t fight ,  broken, I struggle, try hard with my might , to heal all my wounds , a future that’s bright  

My balls haven’t dropped and I think I’m the man , 12 turning 20, grand master plans , shoulders are heavy, carrying baggage , tissue and scars with trauma and damage , running with gangs I’m accepted at last , my new found family lay of the land , the social work center they move me around , challenge behavior for clowning around , I blow in the wind like a leaf in the night , return to the care home a state of a sight , Vallied and stoned as I’m itching my nose  , ringing the buzzer,  stinking of blow , the staff let me in , observing me square , I cringe and I stutter, I’m worse for the wear, my head on the pillow , I drift off to sleep, comfortably numb , from sedative street, I wake in the morning , I’m fried out my brain, an empty like feeling with guilt and the shame , riddled with fear, worries got me vexed, off to a panel as I fidget and stress , they mumble and chatter like I’m just not there, decide where to put me , for safety and care, make up your mind , my head really hurts , from buckfast and cider , hot knifes and tarts ,
On my release, I party and ball, continue my ways but not before long , bars on my window I’m in howdin hall, regretting my choices with right and wrong

I’m lost,  I’m lonely, as I’m walking the streets ,  feeling of empty it haunts me for keeps , the absence of love, lacking runs deep, the tear drops and caskets , it makes my heart weep. I’m angry with god cause I feel he don’t care , I’m searching the sky’s but nobody’s there , just quiet and darkness , eerie at night , I hug on my pillow, I cry holding tight , craving the power and love of the light , I hope and I pray that my parents don’t fight ,  broken, I struggle, try hard with my might , to heal all my wounds , a future that’s bright  


Lost in the system , no jay just a number,
Addicted to chaos, the darkness and thunder ,
Inside am broken and shattered to death , the smack isn’t helping , the vallies and meth , I’m almost 16 and my times running out , the social works gone and they don’t fuck about , remanded to saughton my first time in jail, 30 day lock up there’s no chance of bail,
The door slams at night and the click of a gate , Christmas and birthdays, am feeling the hate , with no one to blame , but me and my fate , for choosing the wrong side of life , it’s to late , god show me mercy , love me again , I open my heart with paper and pen , I’ll turn it around, I promise amen, I need you to be there, to be my best friend , cause none of mates even know me at all, surrounded by fakes as they prey on my fall, I wish that my family could hold it together , with love and compassion , a hug makes it better , I’m empty inside with nothing to give, I’m lost to the system , the misfits and kids , I’m only 19 and I’m ready to die , I overdosed badly , hoping to fly , to pink pearly gates , and heaven inside , surrounded by angels , a rainbow so wide , cause hell on earth life , I leave it behind , taunted by demons , possessed like I’m blind ,

I’m lost, I’m lonely, I’m walking the streets , feeling of empty, it hants me for keeps , the absence of love,  lacking runs deep, the tear drops and caskets , it makes my heart weep. I’m angry with god cause I feel he don’t care , I’m searching the sky’s but nobody’s there , just quiet and darkness , eerie at night , I hug on my pillow, I cry holding tight , craving the power and love of the light, I hope and I pray that my parents don’t fight ,  broken, I struggle, try hard with my might , to heal all my wounds, a future that’s bright