deepundergroundpoetry.com
An afternoon almost off putting
Doris Day spoke of Love on the breeze
curling my mind
a cardboard box lay on my silver stoop
in it was paper that spit feelings
fire from a dead man
bearing tears
turbulent heartbreak on beers
broken days of a billowing sun
hearing sad women singing in french
my couch held me as a friend
as i felt of decomposing leaves
curling my mind
a cardboard box lay on my silver stoop
in it was paper that spit feelings
fire from a dead man
bearing tears
turbulent heartbreak on beers
broken days of a billowing sun
hearing sad women singing in french
my couch held me as a friend
as i felt of decomposing leaves
Published 29th Mar 2018
Author's Note
Doris Day - Dream a little dream of me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7j8wa9sWOE
Bukowski -burning in water drowning in flames
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/946378-burning-in-water-drowning-in-flame-selected-poems-1955-1973
Vanessa Paradis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDjedjfCFUA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7j8wa9sWOE
Bukowski -burning in water drowning in flames
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/946378-burning-in-water-drowning-in-flame-selected-poems-1955-1973
Vanessa Paradis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDjedjfCFUA
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likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 598
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Mar 2018 1:40pm
loved the entire delivery..short & pithy, in lang so deeply soaked in heaviness -the broken torn tears sadness..& the final ultimate feeling it leaves as you 'as i felt of decomposing leaves'...that all which takes a whirwind curling in/away from 'love on the breeze" L1..
poetic & atmospheric . full on the feel. nicely done!
poetic & atmospheric . full on the feel. nicely done!
29th Mar 2018 2:59pm
29th Mar 2018 4:50pm
Loved all of this. Thank you for including the notes section. Made it come alive.
29th Mar 2018 5:03pm
29th Mar 2018 6:13pm
Love all of this. It seems a bit different from your others.
Especially:
the paper spit feelings
a billowing sun
i felt of decomposing leaves
The imagery and feelings you added to the ordinary objects make your poem more readable, and precious.
much love
Rosejasmine
Especially:
the paper spit feelings
a billowing sun
i felt of decomposing leaves
The imagery and feelings you added to the ordinary objects make your poem more readable, and precious.
much love
Rosejasmine
29th Mar 2018 6:18pm
30th Mar 2018 2:21am
"i felt of decomposing leaves"...I love this line very much. When it's very quiet, I could feel the leaves talking, giggling, but you feel them decomposing. Wow, amazing! I should put it into my RL list.
29th Mar 2018 10:13pm
Doris Day and a cardboard box. Perhaps that's the true balance of opposites. Appreciate the imagery, both rough and soft.
30th Mar 2018 2:25pm
