Place Your Bets

She was there. Expecting the familiar unsettling feeling, I tread lightly. Something was different. There was softness in her eyes and a calm within her tone, as if all the darkness had been erased from our checkered past.  

She did not gaze upon me as a lover, nor a foe. It was somewhere in the middle. Somewhere close to the beginning. It was peaceful. For the first time in years I felt the warm embrace of serenity. We spoke like old friends who never missed a beat. The chorus of our conversation sung vibrantly in my ears.
        
Oh how I have longed for this. Arms lain down to welcome a new era. Defenses shattered in the de-escalation. The vulnerability of our now naked selves recognized by all. I had never seen her this free. Succumbed to the need to shed old skin and be relieved of faded scars. We can finally just…be.
        
I woke up from that dream today. Thrust back upon the chaos and drifting souls. Scorned lovers bare their wounds and gnash their teeth. A dimension most unkind. The hope of forgiveness burned away by the day’s first light.

It’s the risk we take when we love. Place it all down on the table and pray it not be taken. But we can’t win all the time. This time I lost a friend.