Hands (Be warned)

I can remember the sound of you hitting my Moms face
The very sound of her unconscious body hitting the floor
I can remember hiding my brother under dirty clothes
Knowing, knowing you were coming for me now
The sound of your footsteps echoed down the hall
I whisper to him, "Don't come out, it'll be okay"
Barely able to shut the door and try to run away from you
I can remember the feel of your hands grabbing my throat
My voice begging you to stop, asking you why you did this
I can remember your fucking breath on the back of my neck
As you hurt me over and over again, I can remember it all
I can remember the smell of your sweat, disgusting and heavy
I can remember the way the bruises were left on my tiny body
While my mom was unconscious and my brother was hiding
I remember, every detail of your face, your teeth as white as snow
The way your lips curved over them like banks of  wet, tan sand
I was so small, so tiny and you couldn't fucking help yourself
Your hands haunt my nightmares, scar my dreams and batter my mind
When a man reaches for me, for a split second it's your hands once more
Your cruel, huge hands reaching for me, your mountain sized hands
Here to deliver pain to me again, your sand palmed hands, the color of earth
How I wish I could destroy your hands, break every bone three times
How I wish I could take back my childhood, my innocence from those hands
I wish they'd shoot you, I wish they'd hang you, I wish you were dead
But that won't make your monster hands leave my mind, would it?
Your finger prints imprinted and bruised into the very texture of my brain
I still have faint scars from when you beat me with a fishing pole one night
Up and down my back, crisscrossed from shoulder to ass, few have seen
The damage you did to kid me, the damage that lasted all this time
It's not just in my mind, my very body still have the scars from fighting you
Yet people tell me that you've changed, that you're different, that you've found god
There is no god that will ever be about to truly clean, really clean those hands