Twenty going on twenty-one

I now have come to admit to my naivete
I lived half my life trying to convince myself that I am not naive .
Today-now-sitting-in this corner I admit--
I am naive
As naive as they come.
I sit here defeated
With no more fight left in me.
Twenty,going on twenty-one
Still
I am nothing but a child.
Yearning for love
Love that's thirteen years long gone
Hope lost- in despair
I sit here in the corner of the bathroom
With tears racing down my face.
You have a pretty smile,they say.
Well....
Behind this smile lays hurt,tears,inadequacy
My heart- worn out.
Wishing to retire
For life is tiring.
Twenty going on twenty-one
But have lived a hundred years.
I'm afraid I'm losing myself
I cut the pain out my wrists but no
Amount of bloodshed can washout
The dirt,the impurity of my body and soul
I wash and wash and wah but still so dirty
I look in the mirror and see disgust
I see nothing but a pigsty
With all sorts of filth one could think of-
Twenty going on twenty-one
A walking dead soul.