Latenight Darkthoughts

To start,
I mean nothing.
I am a pest from the underbellies of the moving American beast.  
I wasn't built for the western world.
 
What is modern?
What is real?
What is friendship?
What the fuck is Snapchat, and why?
 
Everyday worldly responsibility drives me closer to asceticism or suicide. Pushing back tides of hopelessness, getting in shape for my wake. I am that I am. Where do you think God got that from? It's probably written in his diary somewhere. God must keep a daily journal or else he might forget something really important and make the whole thing start to look really embarrassing and all the apologetics would be turning inside and out saying, "Well, I mean, he is that he is you know..."  
 
But secretly all the logicians agree behind their backs that this is no excuse. On a good day I am a logician, but most days I'm a fleeting experience. I feel wispy, like at any moment everything is going to disappear and I'll be face to face with a bottle of ketchup.  
"Welcome to heaven" He'd say.
And I'd be well confused.
 
You see no matter how you see it life's absurd, so why not fuck a toaster?
Why not fuck a triangle?
Why not fuck a monotonically increasing sequence of natural numbers?
Why not fuck life and let lie loosely the noose around your neck?
Why not fuck life and help hold high the life that you have left?
 
You see, I don't understand ego, I don't get it. If something upsets me, I let it be my compainion until I'm done with it. Be humbled by purposelessness, seething fathers of 6. I see the door and I step through it.
 
I'm looking over Yellowstone, and my dad's reading the plaque. "A once great wilderness, Yellowstone Nationational Park was a true national gem..."
 
God I'm so fed up with this world.