All for death

It's been about thirty minutes
since I last scrutinized the world;
window eyelids urge light through
their leafy motifs,
shut doors
remain shut.

Then comes the entirety of the day
heaving all into one feeling
and the repressed gloom
presses against me
like an insecure lover,
asking for a partner
to delve into the fresh air again.

I am afraid
not of the world
but of what it fears in me.