Year after Year

Age 12 holding onto that blade
Praying my life, it would fade
Tired of fighting for survival
What I need? A major revival

Age 13, my old english class
"come to his party, have a glass"
18 years old, I get in his truck
"where is cheyanne?" I think im stuck
Pushed to the back, held onto like tape
He pulled up my dress, I knew it was rape

Age 14, a tub full of water
Cut after cut, my body gets hotter
Killing myself, praying to die
"Im okay" telling mama a lie
Feeling happy is only a wish
Numb to everything, except deaths kiss

Age 15, still leaving scars
"Jokes" about getting hit by cars
A really close friend, almost a brother
"He's sweet and charming" said my mother
But he asked me to talk, I said okay
Unwanted neck kisses and touches.. I wanted away

Age 16, drugs, cuts and hiding
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, I'm fighting
I still want to die, but therapy is helping
Taking my meds, "I'm better", I'm telling