A considerate lover is a controlling lover ...

And I don’t want to be one any more.

I want to lose myself in the moment, merging outside with inside so that I is we is one is all.

And because you give me license to so lose myself I will tell you
What it will be like the first time with you

We will kiss and the kiss
Will be like that first kiss, the one we should have had
When we were both young, both on the verge of becoming old,
Back then behind the school house, in the lane way
Back when the first kiss was like a blaze, a spark, a light that
Flamed up and consumed one.

Just one kiss was all it took then, and
I will kiss you like that
A kiss that was forty, no fifty years in the making
No kiss before its time but a kiss
To end time as it begins.

And I will touch your face, run my hand through your hair
My fingers light upon your skin, trembling
The way they would have trembled, back then
Back then behind the school house, in the lane way
Behind your house.

And my hands, trembling the way they would have
Will follow the line of your shoulders,
The line of your neck to find, to discover
Your breasts
To find them the way they should have found
Back then behind the high school, in the lane way
Behind your house,
To find them and smooth them and touch them and
Kiss them, to lose my boyhood in kissing them
To become a man for the first time, just as you become
A woman then, steel beneath the silk.

And this time
I will feel your hands on my hips, unbuttoning and unzipping
The way they would have, back then
Back then behind the school yard, in the lane way behind your house
Back then when it would have been your first time
To discover your power over a man
Your power to make hard what was soft, and
Make soft what was hard, steel beneath the silk

And this time
I will feel your hands on me, touching me, holding me
Holding me the way you would have held a man, the first time before all the others,
Holding me the way you would have that time, the time so long ago
Behind the school, behind your house.

And this time
Because you have released me
Released me the way we should have been released
Back then, back behind your house, in the lane way, in my house

I will enter you, without thought, without consideration
Just as you will cling to me, squeeze me between your sighs
Each trying to consume the other
Without thought, without consideration
Each waking from the sleep of childhood
The way we should have waken then
Back then behind the school, behind your house

I will see stars, I will see you, I will be heaven and you
My earth
And I will be your lover, and you mine
The way it should have been
The way it will be
The first time.[/font]