The temptations

I've got the temptation
That dark temptation
To grab that knife
To grasp at life
 
I want to see
I want to bleed
You yell and scream
But I don't have enough steam
 
That bullet could have ended
But I didn't let it happen
You asked why but I lied
The reason's you, i'm tied
 
One, two, three
You find out
You scream
You shout
 
It just makes me want more
So you lock me in my room
I open my window and run
Run until I see the sun
 
When I return
You're asleep
So I walk to my room
And you here a creek
 
I'm in my room  
before you find out
You let me go
And I shout
 
Shout into the sky
You warn me not to
But yet one, two, three, four
You want a lie so I do.
 
They might disappear for you
But to me
They're still there
Egging me on and to see
 
I stop for a while
But then my friends start up
I bring it up again
but make it more toward the top
 
I hide it well
And do not tell
But what's stopping me now
I jab and plow
 
I blame branches  
And sticking out metal
I know I'm weak
But I'm definitely not a petal
 
How can I escape this time?
It's harder to ignore
I cover it quickly  
So I seem like a boar
 
It's a masquerade
I cover up
And plaster on a mask
One to keep it up
 
I'm standing
Staring at death's door
But then I hear a voice
One I couldn't ignore
 
It's like an angel
"You're sweet"
Then all of a sudden
I see a treat
 
Someone who I can help
And someone who can help me
I don't know what to do
This isn't something that can be
 
Something that looked for
Someone to talk to
Sometime to listen
And someone to listen to
 
I screwed up though
I wanted to help her
As much as she helped me
But it turns to a blur
 
All that I've wrote
And all that I rhymed
Was for her
What I hope isn't timed
 
She stops talking to me
I freak out
I'm scared
I scream and shout
 
But not at her
At myself
I take that blade
I feel short, like an elf
 
I want to
But then you come down
I act like I'm doing chores
And act like a clown
 
You walk away
Is it safe to say
I put it down
And fall to the ground
 
Why...?
Why not?
It hurts
It's painless