Searching

Convicted by a purpose that I never grew to know,
now conflicted by the uncertainty of the bumpy roads my future holds.
Struggling to grip reality,
and wondering if I’m the only one,
searching far and wide for answers,
praying I never find a gun.
If only I could rewind the clock,
and awaken from this nagging dream,
but alas, the torment never stops,
and is lengthened by my screams.
Now I see why some will never fly,
and why many long for wintertime,
for the chill that fills the season is good reason to be confined.  
Prisoner of a shadow that knows me better than I know myself,
my pride won’t let me call for help,
even though I’m drowning inside my prison cell.  
Heaven seems so far away,
but fire doesn’t satisfy,
so there I lie,
trying to survive,
with a soul that’s only half alive.
Searching for a song that gives me hope,
and calms my spirit,
a tune that heals my heart,
and revives my lungs every time I hear it.
Searching for a melody that’s written just for me,
a chorus of unconscious sounds that bring conscious understanding.
Searching for a voice that is much louder than my own,
marching for freedom,
and fighting for peace,
that I have never known.
Searching for a passion,
that fuels the fire within,
a fervent call to action,
that leads to roads that never end.