deepundergroundpoetry.com
The reinterpretation of 'hole...'
And so it begins...
The immaculate
desolation
of thought...
unilaterally
evacuating
the presence
of light,
as it heaves
one
final
boulder
at mirrored
shadows
dancin'
half hazzardly
into
the 'wide openness'
of nothin...'
Published 21st Jan 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 15
reads 732
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Jan 2018 4:50pm
21st Jan 2018 4:57pm
To receive a nearly speechless comment from you...?? I'm deeply humbled! Thank you my dearest Ahavati... truly... :)
Anonymous
21st Jan 2018 9:31pm
mannn...when you go deep you go in!!!
read this a couple of times..
the meaning still lingering
as the words evoke further examination
read this a couple of times..
the meaning still lingering
as the words evoke further examination
21st Jan 2018 9:38pm
Well bro. If it helps, it's a direct result of being sleep deprived, n bein fed up with bein fed up over no sleep...lol... thanks always for your ever constant support dear bro... truly appreciate...
21st Jan 2018 9:35pm
The things we do in our ill perceived beliefs.
Though there may be more to this hiding
between the lines, least my take on it.
But then, I've been found standin'
out in left field, all by my lonesome,
long after the game ended. :-))))
So nicely put together, Poe
Though there may be more to this hiding
between the lines, least my take on it.
But then, I've been found standin'
out in left field, all by my lonesome,
long after the game ended. :-))))
So nicely put together, Poe
21st Jan 2018 9:55pm
Lol standing alone...well no worries, I'm gonna come stand by you n I'm bring cold brew, n pizza lol ... thank u sweetness,
grateful :)
grateful :)
22nd Jan 2018 8:49am
25th Jan 2018 1:45pm
Anonymous
22nd Jan 2018 9:13am
More magic spilled... Deep and beautifully crafted as ever <3
22nd Jan 2018 9:38am
Aaaaawww... you're beautiful...n I'm honored n flattered...thank you sweetheart, always... :)
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Jan 2018 1:29pm
25th Jan 2018 1:25pm
To start a poem with "and so it begins..." is almost as beautiful as it is ironic. To be honest, this first line was what drew my attention to this piece in the first place. I was like "surely not... surely somebody has not dared to utter the words" ... but you did. I'm pleased to say the bravado was worth it.
There's something so poignant about your use of the word "immaculate" before "desolation". The word suggests a heavy emphasis on the beauty found in destruction (as above, so below) and this sets the scene at the beginning of your poem for the rest of the piece. It also ties into your title here, I wonder if this is the point where you start trying to define things.... I read on.
Then we reach the word "unilaterally" which suggests some sort of order in the chaos. Uniformity. Consistency. We have already gone from utter chaos to order which shows promise as the poem progresses.
Reading on, with the image of the boulder being thrown against the shadows, I get this image in my mind of space. Of the vast ethereal nothingness branching out into the dark. I don't know if you have ever read about the Hindu deity Nataraja, but she is the "cosmic dancer". This was the image I got in my head as I read down this poem. Of an endless dance, Of the balance of life spanning out into eternity. And that I believe, is the reinterpretation of the hole: not the physical, but the unseen.
Half hazzardly - I'm wondering if 'haphazardly' was the word you were going for here?
The colloquial finisher line with your everyday spelling of 'nothin' allows you to add an element of connection to your words. I liked that.
As a whole, this piece seems like a simple short poem, but I've digested this one a little bit and I really believe it's quite profound. that you have written this from a place of wisdom. There is more to this one than meets the eye.
Thank you for the enjoyable little thought process I had with this one.
There's something so poignant about your use of the word "immaculate" before "desolation". The word suggests a heavy emphasis on the beauty found in destruction (as above, so below) and this sets the scene at the beginning of your poem for the rest of the piece. It also ties into your title here, I wonder if this is the point where you start trying to define things.... I read on.
Then we reach the word "unilaterally" which suggests some sort of order in the chaos. Uniformity. Consistency. We have already gone from utter chaos to order which shows promise as the poem progresses.
Reading on, with the image of the boulder being thrown against the shadows, I get this image in my mind of space. Of the vast ethereal nothingness branching out into the dark. I don't know if you have ever read about the Hindu deity Nataraja, but she is the "cosmic dancer". This was the image I got in my head as I read down this poem. Of an endless dance, Of the balance of life spanning out into eternity. And that I believe, is the reinterpretation of the hole: not the physical, but the unseen.
Half hazzardly - I'm wondering if 'haphazardly' was the word you were going for here?
The colloquial finisher line with your everyday spelling of 'nothin' allows you to add an element of connection to your words. I liked that.
As a whole, this piece seems like a simple short poem, but I've digested this one a little bit and I really believe it's quite profound. that you have written this from a place of wisdom. There is more to this one than meets the eye.
Thank you for the enjoyable little thought process I had with this one.
25th Jan 2018 1:44pm
Wow...I'm totally floored by your full on review of my ink... most of ur interpretation is pretty spot on, half hazard was intentional as I rather like doin things outside the norm...I kinda don't worry about abusing the 'proper' usage of language lol...deeply, n truly humbled by you, n your beautiful spirit... grateful 100% for this... :)
26th Jan 2018 6:49am
27th Jan 2018 1:11am
Anonymous
30th Jan 2018 8:20am
very heavy and thought provoking!!
