Its more than

i truly wonder can anyone person on this so call God’s green Earth truly understand what I’ve been through let alone what i am still going through, it’s like this if you can dig it

It’s not just falling in love with you then being betrayed
It’s not just all the games that you God damn played
It for sure is more than what it took to get to you
It’s not just the needles & pins that you let my body in

It’s more than just love it’s a damn strong connection
It’s not just the meds now that I’m taking, I’m affected
It’s not just you fooled around on me, you made promises
It’s more than I’ve contemplated even if i should still be alive

It’s more than writing over a 1000 poems so far because of you
It’s definitely more than just be stuck in another country with no money
It’s way more than the hurt that i wanted to put on him,
And it is for sure more than the balls he did not have to face me man to man

It’s more than my mother killing my step father he deserved it anyway
It’s more than my brothers care factor which is zero for me and what I’ve been through
It is more than the goodbyes i had to say to the children the tears flowed so real
It is more than the kiss you blew me as the bus pulled away, fucking hell you did me over well

It’s more than your voice that i still hear in my head, fuck it is so sexy i bone up every time
It’s more than walking in that damn fucking cold place just to get you a coffee damn cold
It’s more than the hugs and kisses that I still miss and more than the hole that's in my heart
It is more than making sweet love to you, OMFG how I miss lying next to you, fuck it I still care

It’s more than all of these damn memories that keep flying around in my head, so many fuck
More than loving you more than you will ever be loved again i know much more than he ever did
It is more than you naming animals after me and naming our dog after my motor car General
It’s more than the feelings of you turning stone cold on me just to hide what you did to me

It’s more than the pieces that you left me in and more than me feeling like a fool
It’s more than just you left me for dead when you said you would always have my back
It’s more than that beautiful shadow poem that you wrote for me you read it out on our weeding day
It’s more than that damn annoying clock radio buzz, buzz, buzz fuck I hatted that damn thing

It’s more than telling your mother that it was me that was having an affair, I did not even know
It’s more than you killed my heart, you might as well have stabbed me like my mother did
It is more than the beautiful blue in your eyes and it’s more than the sway when you walk
It’s more than the insanity that I feel because of my whole life and all that I’ve been through.