WAITING FOR MY MUSE AS TIME GOES SPEEDING BY  (12-29-16, Cathedral City (‘Cove’), California)

2 a m
and here
i sit
just 2
nights away
from new
years eve
2016
slow orbiting
this late
silent nights
swollen vacuous
timeless deep
as if
cryogenically
frozen
yet still
conscious
in some  
strange
limbo like
though
semi awakened
half asleep
restless state
of transfixed
attentive being
here
yet still
away
reflecting
meditatively
in my
hypnagogic
mind
on its
ringing
emptiness
for any  
sudden
subtle insights  
gleaned
subconsciously
or otherwise
any way
theyll come
through my
weightless
teetering upon
my presently
unstable
unfettered
off center
fluid  
equilibriums
unboundaried
uncertain
dissolved
outer
and inner
sense
of gravitys
grasp
now seemingly
gone
from my
own lost
still points
innermost voice
somewhere
herein between
the diaphanous
dual elliptical
shadows
of 2  
paranthetical
horizontal cusps
bookending
new years
day
2017
and my
turning 63
not too
far long
away after
its unstoppable
unyielding
relative crush
each time
i contemplate  
the fleeting
ascension
of my  
rapidly increasing
age
of all
the things
ive not
yet done
experienced
realized
expressed
lived
nor shared
compounded  
by the
undeniable  
sense
of time  
itself
further
accelerating
much too
quickly
beyond me
with what
roads
still left
up ahead
for me
to seize
and live
seemingly
tapering down
and equally
running out
with time
which only
adds insult
to injury
at least  
to whatever
may yet
be left
of my  
stubbornly
still undead
desperately
clinging
egos
overall
frustrated
sense
of not
being
near done
with me  
yet
much less
its ever
wanting to
nor believing
it will
ever
have to
fully
let go  
 
but man
oh man
is it
ever in
for one
fucking big
profoundly
disintegrative
gloriously
transcendent
surprise