despair

death stroked my hair            
 held me down as he raped me            
in the fun-house at life's fair            
took away my gentle thought              
 pretend i do not care            
 guess i could have fought            
why i did not i can not share            
salvation in god i sought              
on the cross my pain for him to bare            
silence is all i got            
i still feel deaths slobber            
on my dick,over my winking eye            
up and down,down and up a fish bobber            
i am broken left to wonder why?            
the devil playing in my ass            
like a child in the mud,sex robber            
i am katatonic now            
the sticking pins              
no reaction i make somehow            
for all my sins            
close my eyes,            
to death is who            
my soul            
he pricked that too            
defecate my bloody stool            
on life's clean white sheets            
 i am such a fool            
to the rythm of damage my heart beats            
drowning in deaths drool            
fucked hard            
bleeding tourniquet around my sorrow            
draining the infection              
irrigating the wounds of rape  
through self-medication            
to death no objection              
my life no exception            
heroin i have found            
quiets the noise in my brain            
soon i will be in the ground            
    its all in vain            
my face is sunken in            
my ribs do show            
now i live in sin            
lost my glow            
its time to go            
in my darkness            
and my silence            
brought war on my soul            
i have disowned my body            
i have got only this self punishment            
i know not why            
i am deaths whipping boy            
with broken wings            
my soul will never fly