tsunami tears, rips through my heart.

my mind won't let go
of these thoughts
they're like
indescribable

But they take my breathe away
turns on the tears like a tsunami

hearing your voice
makes it stop

sometimes

it always comes in waves
like a earthquake
never expected
 
my mind never saw this coming
cigarette after cigarette
thought after thought
tear after tear
sobs and screaming
I can't control them
you can't forgive me

you probably never will
I just don't want to come to terms with that
I guess I am lying to myself
in a way
because I am not coming to terms with how we may end

crying myself to sleep when you're not here is routine
holding the sting ray stuffed animal you bought me
almost two years ago now
is the only thing that comforts me when I can't hold you
when I can't embrace you
or breathe you in


there's never going to be another you

I can't handle that

no one will ever know me the way you do

I don't want anyone to
I don't want to let someone crawl inside of me the way you have
because this is what happened
And I don't ever want it to happen again
because life feels like death
my bed feels like a coffin most nights
the other side of my bed is like a fucking ghost not knowing how to shut up
I always talk about that shit
about how inanimate objects speak
how they don't know how to fucking shut up


I don't know how to shut up
I want to fix this but I don't think I can.
I want to fix you but I'm the one who broke you
we fucking broke each other
but I'm the bad person because I broke you more.