the addiction code

       
your pain reached in      
& stole my breath      
       
stifling screams of denial      
i choke on the vomit of lies      
i tell myself      
       
when confronted with torment      
i can't even imagine      
drugs seduce, capture      
& hold prisoner      
       
they torture us with relief      
however brief      
is argued better for a moment      
then another minute      
in perdition's cold grip      
       
the numb we chase it, run it down      
all to quiet the din      
that rages inside      
& it eats us alive      
       
flays our skin until we burn      
with the fever of forgetfulness      
another fix, line, hit won't hurt      
       
as the day crashes in on us      
& tomorrow promises more ache      
       
the hurt of knowing our skin more sensitive      
to the rough touch of this world      
our feelings raw & exposed      
       
we feel everything      
every innuendo, each slight    
at the hands of callous beings      
       
so we take shelter in the dark      
inside the heroin      
where the shrieks of an uncaring planet      
can't reach      
       
hide in the meth      
that transports me to outerspace      
surely i belong there      
this race being alien to me      
       
i feel you beautiful one      
deep within my pained existence      
while others speak in a foreign tongue      
       
i hear you        
you speak my dialect      
it is one of the heart      
from one addict to another      
       
you entered my soul      
& broke the code      
there are tears      
shed for your humanity      
       
the beauty in you has reached in      
& taken every excuse      
my addiction has fed me      
       
if you can bare the sober sun      
you give me hope      
i can follow in your boot prints      
because you've shown me this is war      
       
& everyday i take breath      
a chance for victory      
       
       
       
*inspired by beautiful Katja's        
most real & deeply painful write dedicated to me..      
     
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/295406-cheval-ii/      
       
I love you Katja thank you..      
       
       
*note deeply inspired  
by Katja's bravery i'm Crimsin  
& i'm an addict..