...Tasteful.

The 3rd 4th and 5th lines are great
"hollow    
of the sternum    
succeeding puking "

i could possibly see you dragging this person behind your car down the highway
with all the crunching,tangling,clicking

the 21st & 22nd line you got specific with your dislike
"too fucking far by...    
'bout 1/4 inch;  " - i assume this person was close to you at some point if they envoked these gut wrenching feelings, then again sometimes we can feel this way about ourselves.
the 9th line
"the feeling of lack" - corresponds  with this to me and i reflect on my teenage self

the 30th line
"You're that." - deals the final blow to the victim in our mind weather it be family, lover, acquaintance, or ourselves.

well penned

Thank you man! How I'd love to drag this person...through the Washington mud and sticks.

Now I'm wondering what about your teenage self you're reflecting upon😆

Definitely wish I would have stuck with writing much more in 9th grade than let it take a back seat like I did.

beautiful Atomik

what a ghastly person
this must be I could feel
you wretch on the bile
just reading this..

"or the feeling of lack    
clacking & clicking,      
then cracking    
when ribs stick    
& pinch    
like grinchy    
crunchy,    
gangling    
fingers;"

I could hear you gag
just saying the words..

brilliant..

love Crim

Thank you for your thoughts, they're of great value 😊

I'm glad this was effective! Even if it was repulsive haha!

woohoo---("mama tol me not to come!") here.......blisteringly sweet&Sour.... bless you, mlove

Thanks Dan! "Mama said knock you out! I'm gonna knock you out!"

She did.
More than once.

AtoMik.. brutally powerful.. dig this.. much love, and respect..






























Dave

Thanks Dave!

I am probably WAY off, but the poem spoke to an eating disorder, and then it seemed to either speak to the results of the eating disorder, or equated a person to it.  Either way, or another way, this was incredibly raw and honest.  Kudos.

Ahhh! Thank you :) I like that interpretation. That's twice in about a week that I've had eating disorders come up, I've never personally struggled with them though. It's just a vomitous reaction I have to someone. I didn't really even edit this, it just came out, it's one of "those" poems haha!

I'm in awe of your stream of words - carpenter of language creating your semantic landscape. Will not comment on content - speaks for itself. Rob.  

Thank you Rob!

ah but we're all puke of some sort or another..no?

Can't argue with that. Some people out there probably feel this way about me, admittedly.