deepundergroundpoetry.com
Counting Hairs
Going bald
is as appetizing as eggs over easy
arriving like hard bricks on a cold plate
so when you're a teenage girl
fresh as a spring bud
inching your way
up to the sunlight for the first time
your world just about ends
Even when the people around you
do all they can
it seems like nothing stops it
24/7 you keep asking: why me?
and there are no answers
only a prayer
repeated to yourself every ten minutes:
Please God
let me have hair
on my wedding day
Hair can grow back again
but after you've shut yourself away
watching seconds slide into weeks
rebuilding confidence becomes like
a bee trying to fly through a thunderstorm
with frail twisted wings
All that talk of the beauty inside you
and just needing time
won't mean a thing
when you're losing it
aged seventeen
staring terrified at your comb
Published 16th Dec 2009
| Edited 27th Mar 2016
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Anonymous
16th Dec 2009 3:06pm
is, once again, the most beautiful and outstanding. The final two lines which round off that verse provides perhaps your most tight, eloquent and powerful piece of imagery. Darkly funny in places, but also imbued with a certain subtle sadness.
Anonymous
16th Dec 2009 3:22pm
its as moving as its darkly funny too, i agree totally with jack,this is a very good one A.
Anonymous
16th Dec 2009 3:23pm
I agree with Jack with regards to the elements of dark humour, yet every sentence grows more foreboding as we reach the climax.
I love "like hard bricks on a cold plate."
I love "like hard bricks on a cold plate."
16th Dec 2009 3:41pm
That's heady praise indeed, Jack... I thank you sire with every hair on my head.
16th Dec 2009 3:49pm
...thanks Priya - I have to say this happened to a friend of mine and I had not intended the poem to be funny - even in a dark way, which is a tad perturbing. There's probably nothing worse in the mind of a self conscious teenage girl than losing her looks, tho I admit there's an amusing aspect to baldness that's always associated with the condition. But then thankfully I'm no expert with first hand experience of what it's actually like to lose all your hair, so what do I know.
16th Dec 2009 3:52pm
...yes, they are best swallowed whole when they arrive like that. Thank you for your kind comments, Cthonian
