Nil

Start my day
with a head full of regrets
and a cup of coffee

I inhale the smoke
from the cancer
that permeates the air

breakfast is important
so I have 2 bowls,
one is cereal

about halfway
back into the kitchen
I fall into a dream

then I find myself absorbed
in the fragments of ancient lore
I have found in my travels

I catch the sunset
from my peripherals
and realize I have done nothing

the vagaries of thought
snap into focus
and I feel empty

another bowl, maybe two
and a couple cheeseburgers
still don't fill the void

but in the twilight hours
I find myself reaching out
but you're not there

my phone no longer rings
I guess I still have friends,
but I don't want to be seen like this

the highlight of my day is the end
I lie down fully dressed, in layers
but I'm still so fucking cold

and I would give anything
to hear your voice again
but I can never forgive you