Loathing for love

Have I done it again?
Mistaken the hugs and drugs
and loathing for love
Just to discover I'm lonely with friends
Then again, what of them?
Do they pass second glances
at my sordid behaviours
Shrugging their shoulders
"Oh that's just david"
And I push them away
as the loneliness dances
within
How do you learn to begin?
So used to being broke
No gift or heart to open
Dingy soul so cracked
and unwhole
It no longer breaks, it just bends
Find me crying that I'm fine
I pretend
While all this time I'm implying
That I'm loving, again and again
I'm really not lying
Look, I'll prove that I'm fine
See, I'm letting you go
alone down your seperate road
( I still hope I find me at the end)