The End of Wifey

 
My dearest and oldest friend  
closest to my heart  
seems we traveled together  
a lifetime  
but it’s time for us to part  
 
I must thank you for your kindness  
during troubles  
and through strife  
I’ll remember you forever  
my ever loving wife  
 
And how could I forget  
that time you ran away  
when you holed up  
with the mail-man  
in his shack near Santa Fe  
 
It only took a week  
till you came crawling back  
begging for forgiveness  
with his baby  
in your sack  
 
I suppose we had our moments  
your cooking not so bad  
but those cup cakes  
with pink swastikas  
would drive any critter mad  
 
You promised to be faithful  
and do anything I asked  
though you refused to wear  
a collar  
or take it up the ass  
 
I know that you’re no quitter  
and you wont abandon hope  
but it can take an hour to die  
when you’re swinging  
on my rope  
 
I’ll be back to cut you down  
before the morning light  
so think of me  
in hell  
and don’t forget to write