Random Pish 7.0

 
(i) Light

If many hands
make light work,
how come I fixed
my desktop lamp
on my own ?

(ii) Cooks

If too many cooks
spoil the broth then
put less cooks in it.
I would suggest 1 cook
per pint with a bottom
pinch of waitress to taste.

(iii) Going Dutch

If there's no such thing
 as a free lunch then you
my dear can pay your half
for a change.

(iv) Falling

I have no fear
of heights, I am
however scared
of the ground,
its the ground
not the height
that kills you

(v) Oooh Matron!

if Walls
have ears
do doors
have big knockers.

(vi) Morning Tent

the early bird catches
the worm, and first thing
 in the morning is when
the big worms come out

(viii) Going Solo

Masturbation is,
never having
to hear “I've got
a headache.”