Falling in

This isn’t a dream
This isn’t a situation
Of which I can snap
Out of and wake up
Not tainting anything
But my own sanity.

I was only supposed
To be your bonfire
On a rainy day.
I was only supposed
To play a tumbleweed
A brief interaction
Then I would
Make my way.

But now I have
Become significantly
More involved
And that does not
Make me unhappy.
Yet, my soul does
Mourn a small, yet
Evident bit for that
Which I cannot.

I’ve chosen my
Own way so long
And now life has
Led me in a place
Where I have utterly
Let go of what I’ve
Self taught everything
I thought I was
And it is scary
How it wasn’t
Very hard
At first.
But now I feel like
My heart is strumming
The strings of who I
Always desired to be
It’s like I’m constantly
Fighting anaesthetic
To be conscious
With you.

And it’s not a dream
This progression
Of proclaimed
affection and loyalty
Has thrown me
Into unexpected
Places
And I want to stay
And I want to say
I’d risk him and me
To find where this leads
But loneliness is easy
And so is dreaming dreams.