Loving cyanide

I guess I'm not worth it all  
I thought you and I saw the same stars  
Dreamed big and planned  to go far  
Living are life's free and abroad  
But now I feel like I'm the only one trying  
Fighting for this love I need and cherish  
 
But I'm malnutritioned  
Starving for attention  
Im so fucking tired of opening my heart for nothing  
Bleeding my soul out just to  
 get attacked and berated  
 
My fucking heads gonna explode  
I've never been so ignored  
Left to feel empty numb and alone  
 
I voice my feelings like you said  
But always regret that I did  
Nobody gives a fuck  
You say you do  
But your always a no show  
Whenever I need you  
 
And I don't talk about my feelings much  
What's the point when there's no one  to love  
Just remember I used to  
But now never am going to  
 
You said you loved how I could be so open  
You can feel the pain in my truths  
I make you think critically ,  
See views differently  
Look inward and see logically  
You said you loved me  
Needed me  
And one day would marry this beast  
 
I was stupid to believe  
There's someone  out there for me  
I should've pulled the trigger that night  
Ending the memories and all of the strife  
 
I'm broken  
Fuck you beat me down  
Ill never live up to your standards
So please  
I beg of you  
just kill me now .