deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Aries
You make skin and bones look good
U dazzle behind ciggarette smoke
Where humour makes your beauty eternal
all jokes aside
These small remembered details
Are steering me to madness
She creeps up on me
In dreams
In off topic conversations bout random things.
Her name rolls past me
In the end credits of the final scene
I see her sillouette in the woman
who dances on the screen
I see flashes of her everywhere
A nightmare of haunting praportions
An echo that goes on without end
Each day,again and again and again
Emily
Emily
Emily
Emily
U dazzle behind ciggarette smoke
Where humour makes your beauty eternal
all jokes aside
These small remembered details
Are steering me to madness
She creeps up on me
In dreams
In off topic conversations bout random things.
Her name rolls past me
In the end credits of the final scene
I see her sillouette in the woman
who dances on the screen
I see flashes of her everywhere
A nightmare of haunting praportions
An echo that goes on without end
Each day,again and again and again
Emily
Emily
Emily
Emily
Published 9th Nov 2017
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 3
reads 691
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th Dec 2017 5:19pm
That first stanza i could roll in like a fresh made bed
"U dazzle behind ciggarette smoke
Where humour makes your beauty eternal "
fantastic
"Her name rolls past me
In the end credits of the final scene "- cigarette burns of the best kind
"dances on the screen
I see flashes of her everywhere
A nightmare of haunting praportions"i can imagine the dancing in a strobe lights flicker until you can't see strait.
i Love it.
followed by the repetition of her
"Emily"
WONDERFUL woven piece of poetry you have here.
for an honest critique
just fix the grammar mistakes in:
proportions
&
humor
splendid work MARVELLOUSJae
keep'em coming.
"U dazzle behind ciggarette smoke
Where humour makes your beauty eternal "
fantastic
"Her name rolls past me
In the end credits of the final scene "- cigarette burns of the best kind
"dances on the screen
I see flashes of her everywhere
A nightmare of haunting praportions"i can imagine the dancing in a strobe lights flicker until you can't see strait.
i Love it.
followed by the repetition of her
"Emily"
WONDERFUL woven piece of poetry you have here.
for an honest critique
just fix the grammar mistakes in:
proportions
&
humor
splendid work MARVELLOUSJae
keep'em coming.
8th Dec 2017 11:26pm
Thnx for your insights poet,but even the incorrect grammer is correct in the emotion it displays,because,not not much is correct in the absence of her,that I'd why the mispelling is jat enough to understand what's "ment"..I appreciate your input,Keep well
11th Jan 2024 8:03am
