Truest Shot I Ever Wrote

I'm channeling Tupac from the makaveli album
Wanting everyone to know
This will be the truest thing I'll ever write
Don't be surprised if
By the time you read this I'm no longer alive
But I'm asking everyone
Go to my bottom drawer
Under my sheets I have hundreds of filled notebooks
Burn them to destroy all the lies
An honest man does not feel the need to point out he's honest every other line
Honest words filled with pain I kept inside
Until now

I'm a man with three sides
Each hating the next
Consent fighting within
Has my insides torn from inside
Migraines I try to hide
Start laughing when tears from the pain begin
If I couldn't cuss
I wouldn't be able to talk to myself
I hate waking
Can't stand seeing the beginning of a new day
The first steps out of bed
Breakfast and getting dressed has me seeing red
Then there's the mirror
Shattered with a few missing pieces
Couple drops of blood remain on the bottom
Right on time perfectly I look through the broken glass
To see the same broken man who says the same damn thing to me
Take a piece
Slit your wrist
Cut your throat
End the misery you cause us all
Die now
No that's not fast enough
You're the damn joke
Thanks for the laughs
Exhale the smoke from my Marlboro red
Light the fifth from the fourth
Then toss half of it in the floor
Look back and laugh at the bitch I see
I use to love you
Remember the fun
All the memories
What happen
Because now I could careless
I'm carefree with no caretaker
No need to be careful
Quit caring after finally realizing
I can control my destiny
I decided when I come and go
What I'm saying is
I'm not scared anymore

If I wasn't the first ,middle and last
I would start working on my list
The list with five names that I deserve to outlive
It's getting close
I have my pine box built
But its just for show
I
Like you and the rest already know
I'll burn in hell for a long time
But with a great smile
Showing my fucked up teeth
Loving it all
I'll never break a sweat
Might just break out with a song
Something upbeat like happy
For real
You have to ask why
Because beside of me will be those fat bastards who made my loved ones suffer
Wait
Let me correct a statement I once made
I would spit on the flames that cover their body
I will spit until my throat is so dry
That it just rots and falls off
Again you asking why
Every three seconds put a glass of water on a house fire
Won't stop it from burning layer by layer
But will make take just a tad bit slower
Making the owner suffer a tad bit longer
And right as they try to whisper help me for the last time
I will literally piss in their face to put out those flames
Just so I can look them in the eye and spit for no reason but to show them their worth to me one last time
So hold any tears for me
At least until my last words are read
Here's a quick preview
Me laughing asking anybody want some burnt fatback
The end
Play the thirty four songs I picked out
Stop before the thirty fifth
Everyone line up and take a deep breathe
Hit play and sing along with me

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now
Celebration